Buying and selling homes is so incredibly intense and scary that it messes with people's minds until they're not themselves. After 11 years in real estate, I can safely say I've met every personality type known to mankind. Or, so I thought until I encountered one so fierce and hard to read that all the screamers, worryworts, undecided, difficult and suspicious types (most just temporarily so!) put together did not equal the intensity and complexity of this client.
Civility, I believe, is especially important in professional life. I'm not a screamer. As I've gotten older, I've found my little voice if need be, to defend myself and to uphold my ethics. But I'm essentially unprepared for public displays of callousness, anger and cruelty. I can't abide violence of any kind, verbal or physical, and never have and thank heaven my children have been taught to feel the same. I've stopped going to really violent movies because I just can't take it anymore (and I was once a professional movie critic who ate such movies for breakfast.)
I believe people should work things out and save their worst thoughts about others for private moments when nobody else is looking. Personally, I am fair minded. I am a good listener. I will give counsel when needed but not harrange, harrass or over-sell my point of view. I am a poor grudge bearer. I just don't have time for it. Negativity is such a burden.
Real estate is 90 percent pyschology and 10 percent business. I believe that's why so many women do so well in the profession. Not to be stereotypical, but we're natural hand-holders and nurturers and so many of our clients need constant attention on a personal level so deep that being a woman helps.
In the case of my mystery client, no amount of information, reason, sympathy, empathy or handholding seemed to work. Nothing was accepted on face value and I found myself unable to figure out exactly what I should be offering to do or to be as the deal progressed bumpily along, taking on an odd life of its own and glowing like toxic waste at the end.
Yet, like almost all of my deals, this one closed on schedule. Closure is the ultimate symbol of success in real estate. The deal's done. On to the next deal. And so it goes with this one. It's over.
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