SuburbanDigs

A Sigh of Relief

With real actors, at some point they get to see the show/movie they're in. Then, they go out and publicize it with a little confidence. In reality TV, no such luck. So, when my clients, friends and family continually asked me over the past months about "Bought & Sold," I just shrugged. Who knew what to expect? Until tonight, at least. A couple of short clips of the series are now up on YouTube. What a relief to see I come across plausibly, as myself! I'm really quite perceptive in one clip as a analyze the iffy influence on parents on their adult children's home-buying choices; and wonder why a delightful property hasn't sold in the other clip. You can go to http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=BoughtandSoldfromHGT to see exactly what I mean.

"There's no question, when you are an adult child and you bring your parents in to comment on your life decision, it can go all wrong...they can give out some really negative vibes." That's what I said. I am a parent, myself, and my kids, both adults living away from home (but not yet homeowners), often tell me to stop being so negative. I try! It's not exactly negativity I offer them. It's caution. It's fear. That overwhelming sense of parental protection so hard to kick, even after our kids have long proven that they can really do it -- life -- themselves. I know it well. So, I am well equipped to identify it and understand it when it rears up early on in a potential real estate transaction. The adult kids love a house. They come two or three times to see it. They obtain a mortgage preapproval. They visit schools and investigate commutes. Then, they bring mom and dad, some of whom will be gifting part or all of a down payment.

Parents of adult children may not have bought or sold a home of their own in decades, but they freely give advice and, in some instances, seem quite grim at the notion that their offspring are now ready to put down roots. Often they are just horrified by today's prices and their worry spills over, even if their child makes lots of money. They also may not get the new post-Millenium taste preferences or need to be near shops. Or, they don't feel their child is developmentally ready for home ownership.

What I can't do is intrude on that delicate family moment. I can explain about old houses. I can discuss the town in question. Wax fondly on my own experience in Essex County, NJ. Use my own children's attachment for the area as a way to show how wonderful the place is. And then, I wait. Sometimes the story ends happily. Sometimes, there is great support for and pride in the purchase, as it turns out in the episode you'll see in a few weeks on "Bought & Sold." Both sets of parents visit the sprawling wrap-around-porch Victorian in Glen Ridge, NJ the kids are buying. They enter the large foyer, admire the warming vintage fireplace by the door, gaze at the spacious living room and intricate bannister detail. Their hearts are open; their smiles and nods truly supportive. It is a wonderful thing to behold. I think to myself, if I could only bottle the pride and love in the room at this moment -- and sell it!

Brink of Stardom

More than two decades ago, I followed Lionel Richie around on tour, interviewed his friends, family and Commodore bandmates and (as Roberta Plutzik) wrote a book about him, the "authorized" biography of one of the biggest singing stars of his day. My agent thought it would be a bestseller, coming on the heels of the mega-selling Michael Jackson bio from the same publisher, but it didn't do nearly as well. People loved Lionel's records, but reading about him? Not really!

But the legacy continues willy nilly. A couple of years ago, I was taped as a talking head on the Lionel and Nicole biography on E!Entertainment, with billions of airings ensuing since. Now, on the brink of being on HGTV's "Bought & Sold," it seems like everybody is once more exclaiming, "I didn't know you wrote a biography of Lionel Richie."

The information is prominently mentioned in my bio on the HGTV website, further morphing this career curiosity into something strangely alive after so many years on the shelf. Actually, Dustin Hoffman was a lot more interesting to work with. A long time ago, I spent a day with Dustin for a profile piece. It was my second interview with him, the first having been on the set of "Kramer vs Kramer." We hopped in and out of taxis as he shopped for a Manhattan brownstone and I had a lot of fun and got some great, off-the-cuff quotes. He liked the piece when it came out and called me to say so (a personal celeb-journalism career high, that call!). I asked Dustin if I could write his biography, but he said he wasn't ready. Now that would have been a great Roberta Baldwin bio tidbit.

Managing Expectations

A very nice email arrived the other day: "I've really been enjoying your posts on suburbandigs.com and NJDreamHouses.com. I appreciate your common-sense insights and sense of humor. Your recent post, 'The Dream House' also got my attention because I often observe the same dismay in the eyes of many NYC buyers. As a Home Inspector, I frequently find myself having to manage the expectations of the buyer. Often, they have never been responsible for maintaining a home and they have grand expectations of the way their new (old) home 'should be'."

Following a weekend's real estate activity, we try to get "feedback" from other agents on our listings. On one million-dollar-plus listing, an agent told me: "They love the yard. They love the space. They love the detail. They love the location near the train. They don't like the fact that the is no double sink in the kitchen."

In fact, there are 2 sinks in that kitchen, but at opposite ends of the room! How annoying! Seriously, the aforementioned "grand expectations" that buyers exhibit may well be part of our "do anything to get it...whatever it takes" collective cultural perspective. Every week on "Survivor" or "American Idol," contestants swear they will do anything short of killing competitors to get what they want.

When this drive is applied to 50 and 100-year-old houses, it's tough. A century ago, children were "seen and not heard." There were few "family rooms." Sunrooms on the opposite side of the house from the kitchen were favored. Fifty years ago, basement dens far, far way from mom in the kitchen or dad in the garage were also popular.

Today, everybody wants to watch their kid play in rooms attached to the kitchen. Finished basements have also seen a resurgence of popularity, but I think that may be because so many people find old basements creepy and scary and having something in the house that isn't spiffily complete is hard to accept. Several times this past week, clients asked me how much it would cost to bust out the back of a home to create a den and to finish the basement.

So, when real estate agents show houses, what we're really doing is "managing expectations." Too small implies someone doesn't have enough money to live well. How can we make them feel better with what they have? Sometimes I feel as if I should be carrying milk and cookies on my travels with buyers. We should sit down in someone else's kitchen, nibble and sip, feel how it really is to BE in that home.

A good house is like a second skin. It makes you feel warm and content. Even if there is no great room off the kitchen, there are other pleasures to be had in the homeowning experience -- really!

(Tune in for more about real-estate expectations beginning April 29 at 10, when Roberta and colleagues at RE/MAX Village Square debut on HGTV's new series, "Bought & Sold.")